Latest Ministry Expansion

1134. Latest Ministry Expansion

My newest employees–just hired:

Latest Ministry Expansion

In a previous post, I introduced you to three new staff members. These hires were necessary to maintain order and harmony as the ministry expands. Today I would like to introduce you to 18 new members of the team and their positions. I never thought I would get to the point where I would need this many new people with such specific skills, but these are difficult times requiring specially-trained people. If you’ve been a subscriber to my blog or newsletter for a while, you should understand.

POSITION NAME(S)

Directors of Hiring: Sonata Goodfit & Yugota Duwright

Director of Firing: Senja Onyourway (recent immigrant from Bombay)

Placement: Wayne Abak

Collections: Uome Lotts & Anita Littlemore

Advancement: Rita Bookaday & Ima Clymer

Gambling Counselor for Muslims: Hiza bin Luzin

Disappointment Counselor: Noah Vale

Abusive Husband Investigator: Betty Beeter

Director of Security: Barb Dwyer

Dir. of Teachable Moments: A.B. Glesson

Anger Management: Ivana Shūcha

Overtime Supervisors: Spinna Longday & Tucker Dout

Healthy Eating: Bo Leemik & Anna Rexic

The reason I’ve been able to hire so many people is that I have learned that financial planning isn’t as difficult as most people think. Here’s the principle I learned not long ago:

Financial Planning explained by an Irishman in the Outback.

Paddy bought a camel from a farmer for $100.
The farmer agreed to deliver the camel the next day.
In the morning he drove up and said,

“Sorry son, but I have some bad news. The camel’s died.”
Paddy replied, “Well just give me my money back then.”

The farmer said, “Can’t do that. I’ve already spent it.”
Paddy said, “OK then, just bring me the dead camel.”

The farmer asked, “What are you going to do with him?”
Paddy said, “I’m going to raffle him off.”

The farmer said, “You can’t raffle a dead camel.”
Paddy said, “Sure I can. Watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.”

A month later, the farmer met up with Paddy and asked,

“What happened with that dead camel?”
Paddy said, “I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at $2 each and made a profit of $898.”
The farmer said, “Didn’t anyone complain?”
Paddy said, “Just the guy who won, so I gave him his $2 back.”

Paddy now works for the Commonwealth Bank.

Tags: financial planning, funny, funny names, good laugh, humorous stories, jokes, lighthearted, puns, strange humor

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