1134. Latest Ministry Expansion

My newest employees–just hired:

Latest Ministry Expansion

In a previous post, I introduced you to three new staff members. These hires were necessary to maintain order and harmony as the ministry expands. Today I would like to introduce you to 18 new members of the team and their positions. I never thought I would get to the point where I would need this many new people with such specific skills, but these are difficult times requiring specially-trained people. If you’ve been a subscriber to my blog or newsletter for a while, you should understand.

POSITION NAME(S)

Directors of Hiring: Sonata Goodfit & Yugota Duwright

Director of Firing: Senja Onyourway (recent immigrant from Bombay)

Placement: Wayne Abak

Collections: Uome Lotts & Anita Littlemore

Advancement: Rita Bookaday & Ima Clymer

Gambling Counselor for Muslims: Hiza bin Luzin

Disappointment Counselor: Noah Vale

Abusive Husband Investigator: Betty Beeter

Director of Security: Barb Dwyer

Dir. of Teachable Moments: A.B. Glesson

Anger Management: Ivana Shūcha

Overtime Supervisors: Spinna Longday & Tucker Dout

Healthy Eating: Bo Leemik & Anna Rexic

The reason I’ve been able to hire so many people is that I have learned that financial planning isn’t as difficult as most people think. Here’s the principle I learned not long ago:

Financial Planning explained by an Irishman in the Outback.

Paddy bought a camel from a farmer for $100.
The farmer agreed to deliver the camel the next day.
In the morning he drove up and said,

“Sorry son, but I have some bad news. The camel’s died.â€
Paddy replied, “Well just give me my money back then.â€

The farmer said, “Can’t do that. I’ve already spent it.â€
Paddy said, “OK then, just bring me the dead camel.â€

The farmer asked, “What are you going to do with him?â€
Paddy said, “I’m going to raffle him off.â€

The farmer said, “You can’t raffle a dead camel.â€
Paddy said, “Sure I can. Watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.â€

A month later, the farmer met up with Paddy and asked,

“What happened with that dead camel?â€
Paddy said, “I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at $2 each and made a profit of $898.â€
The farmer said, “Didn’t anyone complain?â€
Paddy said, “Just the guy who won, so I gave him his $2 back.â€

Paddy now works for the Commonwealth Bank.

 

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