1253. All Seriousness Aside

Time to lighten things up again

Need a break from the chaos?

An old tired-looking dog wanders into a guy’s yard. He examines the dog’s collar and feels his well-fed belly and knows the dog has a home.
The dog follows him into the house, goes down the hall, jumps on the couch, gets comfortable and falls asleep. The man thinks its rather odd, but lets him sleep. After about an hour the dog wakes up, walks to the door and the guy lets him out. The dog wags his tale and leaves.
The next day the dog comes back and scratches at the door. The guy opens the door, the dog comes in, goes down the hall, jumps on the couch, gets comfortable and falls asleep again. The man lets him sleep. After about an hour the dog wakes up, walks to the door and the guy lets him out. The dog wags his tale and leaves.
This goes on for days. The guy grows really curious, so he pins a note on the dog’s collar: “Your dog has been taking a nap at my house every day.”
The next day the dog arrives with another note pinned to his collar: “He lives in a home with four children — he’s trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?’
Well FINALLY, it just had to come to this sooner or later!

 A blonde man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: “Did you find the shampoo?”

He answers, “Yes, but I’m not sure what to do… it’s for dry hair, and I’ve just wet mine.”
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A blonde man spies a letter lying on his doormat.
It says on the envelope “DO NOT BEND “.

He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.
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A blonde man shouts frantically into the phone, “My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!”

“Is this her first child?” asks the Doctor.

“No!” he shouts, “this is her husband!”
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A blonde man is in jail, the guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.
“Just WHAT are you doing?” he asks.

“Hanging myself,” the blonde replies.

“The rope should be around your neck” says the guard.

“I tried that,” he replies, “but then I couldn’t breathe.”
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An Italian tourist asks a blonde man: “Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?”

To which the blonde man replies: “If they fell forward, they’d still be in the boat.”
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A friend told the blonde man: “Christmas is on a Friday this year.”

The blonde man then said, “Let’s hope it’s not the 13th.”
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Two blonde men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.
One asked: “What if one explodes before we get there?”

The other says: “We’ll lie and say we only found two.”
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Now you can get back to whatever you were doing.

 

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