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644. The Bacon Tree

Here’s something to offset all the bad news.



The Bacon Tree


Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States , wandering aimlessly and starving.

They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says:

“Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell.

Ees bacon, I theenk.”

“Is, Luis, eet sure smell like bacon.”

 With renewed hope, they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.

There’s raw bacon, there’s fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon, every imaginable kind of cured pork.

¬†“Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved!

Ees a bacon tree!”

“Luis, maybe ees a meerage?

We ees in the desert don’t forget.”

¬†“Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon?

Ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree!”

 With that, Luis staggers towards the tree.

He gets to within 5 yards, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock.

 Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath:

“Pepe, go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!”

“Luis, Luis miamigo, what ees it?”

“Pepe ees not a bacon tree.







Ees… a ham bush.”


I bet you tried to do the accent didn’t you?

I know you did!

See, things aren’t so bad that you can’t laugh once in a while.



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